soup's on!

The other night, I called my father.

"Tarryn! Ohh, man! I just made the best carrot soup!" he crowed into the phone. "Oh my god . . . this is the amazing! Wow! Yes!"

My dad is easily excited by things like patterns made by leaves floating on a pool of water, or the hoot of an owl, or his own delicious culinary experiments in the kitchen.

Listening to him gloat about his amazing soup made me jealous. Why had he never made nirvana-inspiring soups when I lived at home? I'd never had carrot soup before in my life . . . but suddenly I wanted some. Right now.

Keeping in mind my last failed attempt in the kitchen, I decided to forego Papa G's fancy Moosewood Cookbook recipe and kept it simple. I found a carrot soup recipe online that called for:

carrots
chicken broth
fat free sour cream
chives

Four things! Surely I could remember 4 ingredients! Hell, a four year old could remember 4 ingredients!

Don't overestimate me, people. I forgot the chives. Whatever -- who needs chives?

This recipe is so simple, a monkey could make it. Step 1 -- put carrots in pot. Cover with broth. Boil. Observe!




Step 2 -- dump softened carrots and broth into blender / food processor. If you are hungry and tired like me, you might be tempted to try to jam all your carrots and broth into the food processor in one go. This, I discovered, can result in being splattered with several cups of scalding hot carrot-broth.

This is by no means the most corrosive substance I've had splashed in my eyes, though. There was an unfortunate incident in 2003, when I was "helping" Mama G pump her own gas at local self-serve station, and she got flustered and started spraying unleaded regular gas all the pump, her hand, and my face. True story. My vision has never been the same since. Thus my need to bulk up on my carrot intake -- they're supposedly good for your eyes, yes?

Anyway -- back to the recipe. I reccommend puree-ing your carrots in batches. In the end, it will look like this:




Step 3 -- after your pretty orange carrot mash cools for a few minutes, stir in your sour cream, slowly and gradually. The directions specifically say to do this "slowly and gradually" -- damned if I know why. Probably to make you feel like there is actual skill involved in preparing this recipe. Patience and a sense of timing -- it's what sets us apart from the monkeys.

Step 4 -- add chives. Or, if you're like me, say, "Hahahah! Eff you, chives! I have created soooooooup!!" -- and hold your bowl above your head like an offering to the culinary gods.

Soup is now ready to be consumed as part of a balanced dinner:



The result? MMM MMM good!! I had to resist the urge to ring up dad and boast into the phone about my own batch of wonder-soup. Maybe this calls for a Soup Duel -- Papa G and I will have a carrot soup throwdown, and we'll invite in a bunch of rabbits to taste test. I bet my soup will win, cuz Papa G's has nuts and ginger and crap in it -- and everyone knows, rabbits don't eat nuts.

The best part? I have a giant pot of leftover soup in my fridge, to be enjoyed for lunches, snacks, and surprise gifts to friends and neighbors. Come and get it, people!

No seriously -- I don't think one girl can consume this much soup.